Friday, September 19, 2008

Friday September 19th

I was introduced to Patty Griffin the other day! Listen to...

Rain
video

I spent yesterday proofing an article that I was asked to submit for Bead & Buttons 15th anniversary issue. I spent days on the initial article and had received the proofs from my editor the day before yesterday. We went back and forth with several of my concerns and rewording things so that everyone would be happy. Last night, as I was going over the article for the billionth time it dawned on me that I had done a very poor job in the initial layout of the article and that the entire piece needed to be reorganized.

I spent the next 4 to 6 hours re-writing everything. I emailed the proposed changes to my editor late last night with a note asking that she not hate me and to please not take out a contract on me for being "difficult". I cannot tell you how gracious she has been and how understanding to my concerns. I am very pleased with the newest version and am looking forward to seeing the other artists’ submissions.

I am glad that yesterday is over and that I do not have to be in fear for my life!

It has been an extremely hard few days and they are days that I would prefer to have not had to go through. I am tired, tired to my very core, tired in my soul. I continue to be faced with unrelenting truths and simple facts and each of these are indisputable. It is a simple fact that there were realities that I believed in and I held each of these in the highest regard. Acknowledging that many of these realities have turned out to be unworthy is a hard fact to face. I am not talking about inferred innuendo, assumptions, notions or even the preponderance of evidence; I speak of real facts and real truths.

As in everything, I will say as loudly as I can and to any that will listen, no one is perfect and we each have to accept and acknowledge our own imperfections and our own culpability in the outcome of our lives. I believe, or at least I can say that I have honestly attempted to understand mine own. Those who can’t or even worse won’t delve deep enough to actually see the truth bewilder me. I do not understand how isolation and a refusal for real communication can lead to resolution, understanding and even actual healing.

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