Friday, May 30, 2008

Simple Tarot

a late night quickie tarot!

The Covering - Seven of Wands: Valor

The card in the Covering position highlights the important events, issues, attitudes or influences around the question or current situation.

The Seven of Wands suggests a tricky time of problems and annoyances, but the troubles it shows are surmountable, and you do have the resources you need to win through. If there are many difficulties to deal with, isolate them and sort them out one by one. Now is the time to fight your corner and stand your ground against adversity, because if you are tenacious and stand up for yourself then you have every chance of coming out on top in the end. The Seven urges you not to give up: resilience will see you through.

Friday May 30th.

I slept so soundly last night that I did not hear the HUGE thunder and rainstorm and the lighting did not faze me one little bit. It was wonderful to sleep that well. I had a most delightful day. I met many of Cris’s friends and I got to see one of the places that she teaches at and had a very relaxing and casual day.

I am so very excited about the classes. Cris & I leave tomorrow morning around 9am for the last 4 hours segment of my journey to Milwaukee. We are going set up my classroom in the afternoon and then relax for the rest of the day.

For everyone that is coming to the show, travel safely, I am looking forward to seeing you and those of you who can’t join us, keep a look out for daily updates both here and my website.

I am a bit tired this evening and I am off to bed and hopefully off to some sweet dreams.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Thursday May 29th.

So, I am sleeping at 4am and the IM alert on my phone goes off very loudy. My first thought is wha-da-F? WHY-GOD-WHY? Well it turns out that Ralph takes his job of taking care of me while I am driving great distances very seriously. He tells me to get up and to get moving because there is REALLY bad weather heading my way and I need to beat it into Iowa.

Well I am glad that I listened, I pretty much was just in front of some very bad weather the entire 700 miles that I drove today. Thanks Man!

So I am now sitting in Cris Leonard’s living room after a wonderful Indian Dinner and the 24 hours of driving has done me in. What a treat to be able to sit and catch up and see her studio. I have a rare day off tomorrow and am planning on enjoying every moment of it. I am gonna try my best to “sleep in” a bit. That would be a real treat.

Jill Wiseman took the picture of my mini-van trip to the next and obvious level, especially after my “Rainbow Experience” yesterday. The addition of the Butterflies and Unicorns was a stroke of genius.

Ok, now I have to say just one thing. This seems to be Iowa’s answer to the 7-11. What was this person on when they thought that this was a good name for a convenience store? Yup, my mind goes straight to the gutter every time I see this sign. I feel like I am in Junior High all over again. I will admit that this does make me laugh! EVERY TIME!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Wednesday May 28th

I am now in Sterling Colorado after a 1000-mile drive today. Relaxing at a Super 8. I was not as daring as I had desired to be. I did not leave at 4am I drove off at 5:15. I just could not bring myself to get out of my comfy bed. Well I still made great time and there was only traffic in Colorado Springs for about 20 minutes.

My best friend Ralph lives in NYC and seeing as he is 3 hour ahead he is always my early morning wake up call.

I did get to watch the sunrise over the mountain range about 100 miles out of Tucson and I had a most pleasant day. It is amazing to see the transition during the drive north. Here are some of the fun things that I got to see on my driver.

1. Mitchell Pass, New Mexico
2. Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
3. A helicopter refueling in mid-air with a fueling plane (VERY COOL)
4. The VLA, now this is a very high tech and impressive field of telescopes that reside 50 miles west of Socorro, New Mexico. The initials for these 27 telescopes, VLA, stand for “Very Large Array”)
Ah, NASA scientists, as always, masters of the obvious.
I love the fact that they named it this way.
5. Pikes Peak, really big and it still has some snow on top.
6. Denver (but only from a distance) I take the loop to 76 that hooks me up with 80 East.

7. There were hawks, roadrunners, mud swallows, jack rabbits and White Storks.
There was an abundance of wildlife all day long!

Tomorrow I get to experience Nebraska and Iowa. I get a day and a half of relaxation with Cris before the festivities of B&B begin.

OK, I had one of the most amazing experiences of my life earlier this evening. As I passed the Denver airport it started to rain heavily and there were a perfect double rainbow that was south of the direction I was driving. They were there for the longest time and I got the rare treat of being able to see the field where the rainbows landed. As I continued to drive the road twisted in such a way that the rainbow was suddenly in front of me and after a few more moments, I actually DROVE UNDER THE RAINBOW. I do not understand how this could happen. The reason you see a rainbow is because we as viewers are in between the rain of the rainbow and the sun. It should not have happened. Really, It should not be able to happen! It was Fan-F-ing-Tastic. I had a really hard time concentrating on my driving for those 3 minutes. What a wonderful thing to witness.

Why we see rainbows!

-We see rainbows when the sun is behind us and falling rain is in front of us.
-When sunlight strikes a falling drop of water it is refracted, changed indirection, by the surface of the water. The light continues into the drop and is reflected from the back of the drop to the front. When the beam hits the front it is refracted again and emerges from the drop as the color spectrum that we see in a rainbow.

-The water drop acts like a prism to seperate the light into its different wavelengths.

DOUBLE RAINBOW-If the beam is reflected twice inside of the water drop them it will cause a secondary rainbow to appear when the light leaves the water drop. The colors of the secondary rainbow are reversed in order with violet on the top and red at the bottom.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Tuesday May 27th

Just picture me drivin' this fine automobile to Milwaukee!
Yea! It's Hot, Really Hot to drive a mini-van.

Well I am gonna be stylin’ all the way to Milwaukee. Yes it’s true, I am actually gonna be driving a Dodge Caravan mini-van. It is the only thing that will hold all of the stuff I am traveling with and let me rest in the back when I need to.

I had a real scare this morning. I got on-line to check the delivery status of my last shipment. My heart skipped a beat when they said the delivery was “rescheduled” for tomorrow. Well it took 45 minutes on the phone totaling 3 conversations to find out that it was a clerical error. The torches arrived at 3:30pm.

I am all packed up and ready to hit the road. I am going for a swim and rest for a few hours and then hit the road around 4am. My friends think I am nuts until I explain that by the time noon rolls around I have already gone hundreds of miles and I also get to watch a fantastic sunrise with NO traffic.

I will take pictures and keep you up to date with my progress as I drive north. I promise to all of the emails and all of the IM’s I will drive safe and even slower this year due to the gas prices.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Monday May 27th.

I hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day.
It was very cool to see the first of the images from the The Phoenix Mars Lander.

Well the day was a fun filled day of cleaning up the mess that I have made of my house while I was getting ready for B&B. I packed up my tumblers and a few odds and ends and cleaned like a mad woman. This is the kind of clean that I love; I move bookshelves from walls and get behind everything. I did all of the laundry and all I have left to do is pack my clothes that takes about 15 minutes. I am the kind of person that starts thinking about what I want to take a long time in advance and have it all laid out in my head. So all I really have to do is just grab it out of the closet and stuff it all in my luggage.

I am so ready to see all of the people that I enjoy so much and only get to see a few times a year. This is the one week where all of us meet and we get to catch up and have good food, a few drinks and get all caught up. I cannot wait to hang with Andrea & Whit, Cris & Paul, Stacey, Karen, Susan, Jill, Kathy & LisaNivenKelly (it really is just one word). I cannot wait to see everyone and see all of the work and all of the stuff and get caught up.

I cannot even express how ready I am for this drive. I just want to have the singular task of watching the horizon expand and pass me. I get to listen to my tunes and my thoughts and just consider it all, everything. As much as everything changes, I have realized that everything truly is a cycle. It was just this time last year that I found myself in exactly the same place as I am now in so many ways. It’s not just the drive that was before me but I was also in the same cycle personally. I found that realization an amazing thing. Last year I had the opportunity to see, to act, to learn and grow but I did not take that chance. I guess I was not ready for it. I believe that I am now. I find that there is a clarity available to me in driving, the shear simplicity (and complexity) of the task lets me delve deeper and find a greater meaning in so many things. I have been waiting for this trip for weeks and welcome the rhythm that it offers.

I have been reading more of Pablo Neruda, the words that he wrote are so powerful, sensuous and at times even wrenching and always so beautiful.

Here is one that I found very powerful:

XVII (I do not love you…)

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Congratulations Phoenix Mars Lander

Well the excitement here in Tucson is quite real.

The Mars lander seems to have landed safely at 4:55pm AZ time. They are gonna wait for 20 to 30 minutes for the dust to settle to open the solar panels.

It seems that a large part of the mission was designed here in Tucson at the UofA.

Congratulations! Well Done!

Check out the NASA Site! Really cool stuff here!

Sunday May 25th

So, I am done! I wound, cut and tumbled 200 Troy oz of sterling silver and then packaged well over 400 Troy oz. yesterday. I am pretty much packed up and ready. All I have left to do is pack up my bench and my clothes and clean the disaster that is my house. Whenever I get ready for a show it is like a tornado hit and run.
As you can see I have a few things that I am bringing. I am looking forward to the drive and the solitude. It is so fascinating to see the terrain change from desert to trees, from the neutrals to the greens as I drive north. I really do love this drive.

I am so looking forward to seeing everyone.
Just a few more days and we are off to the races for another year!

I am still on my poetry reading binge and I have discovered the poetry of a Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. 1945 – 1973
His words are so amazing.

Pablo Neruda

What's wrong with you, with us,
what's happening to us?
Ah our love is a harsh cord
that binds us wounding us
and if we want
to leave our wound,
to separate,
it makes a new knot for us and condemns us
to drain our blood and burn together.

What's wrong with you? I look at you
and I find nothing in you but two eyes
like all eyes, a mouth
lost among a thousand mouths that I have kissed, more beautiful,
a body just like those that have slipped
beneath my body without leaving any memory.

And how empty you went through the world
like a wheat-colored jar
without air, without sound, without substance!
I vainly sought in you
depth for my arms
that dig, without cease, beneath the earth:
beneath your skin, beneath your eyes,
beneath your double breast scarcely
a current of crystalline order
that does not know why it flows singing.
Why, why, why,
my love, why?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Saturday May 24th

I want the warmth again!
Where did it go?
Hello, warmth, where is you? Come Back!

The last 3 days have actually been grey, gloomy, windy and cold. Well, cold by Tucson standards is a bit different than for the rest of the country, I promise. I got 3 major shipments in yesterday, the last of the silver arrived. I now just have one shipment left and seeing as how I forgot that Monday was a holiday it will arrive on Tuesday. Nothing like cutting it close this year. So, I spent hours yesterday getting the last of the cutting of the fine silver finished and today will be the final day for the sterling winding and cutting. I am ready for this to all be finished up and to be on my way. The grey of these last few days have taken a toll and I am ready for the sun to warm me once again.

Jeez, I have so much stuff to pack into a vehicle, it is amazing what 1 3-day workshop and 10 classes can turn into.

So, today will be a day of tasks, baseball and maybe a familiar movie or two to provide audio distraction while I finish.

Friday, May 23, 2008

All Due Homage to the Solo Jones

Ok, this did not go well!
I tried to give you this great little video and all
I can do is give you this link to;
Lego Indiana Jones

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Later on the 22nd.

Now this is very encouraging! I am pleased, very pleased indeed.

Free Will Astrology - The Week of May 22nd

Your life in the coming weeks may resemble a dream of sailing deep beneath the waves in a yellow submarine where a nonstop party is going on. It'll be as if you're plowing through deep, heavy, murky waters inside a brightly-lit high-tech vessel that is controlled by slightly chaotic connoisseurs of fun. You may feel a bit claustrophobic, but that could encourage your imagination to run wild, which will be a good thing as long as you don't believe everything it tells you. In conclusion, Scorpio, get ready for entertaining adventures that will range from being a bit creepy to totally delicious.

Thursday May 22nd.

I cannot remember where I read this last night but I found an interesting piece of advice.

~Never play leapfrog with a Unicorn!~

There are a great many times in our lives that we take chances and we just pray that they are the correct ones. As we all know, taking chances and living to the fullest has its glories and its pitfalls. The glories are all the more wondrous when that gamble pays off and the pitfalls are all the more dangerous when they do not. I guess I have always lived by the notion that the glories most definitely out weight the pitfalls.

I am sure some have deemed my process as a bit reckless. Looking at it now, I would say that I have lived my life to date as if it were the acts of a play, a really good Greek Play. Now, I do not expect the “deus ex machina” (or God Machine) to come swooping in from the heavens at the end to make it all right. I do however expect a satisfactory denouement or a “final resolution” in my life. I want to feel as if I have lived the life of a good and fair person that has done as little damage as possible to those I know, have known, loved or still do love. We are never sure of which act our lives are in, I have always tried to live mine as if I were in the last act so I would not leave an incomplete life.

~That philosophy was a gift from the first mentor in my life and I will always be grateful for his unfailing guidance~

My choices have made me who I am and has on many occasions reaffirmed my own beliefs. I do think that youth has played a great part of some of the more interesting leapfrog games that I have participated in, but still, there are only a few of those gambles that I would change, even now. I refuse to live with regrets, they are like millstones, and they drag you down to the depths and suffocate you. I do reflect on my choices and try to learn from each experience. Each day is the most precious thing. I desire to treasure it. I want to wake up and greeting each morning with a smile on my face and am determined to do so.

I will continue to play leapfrog with Unicorns, it may be a bit risky but it is those kinds of chances that have given me the most amazing experiences of my life, full of the glorious and all the while trying like crazy to foresee the pitfalls if possible.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Cheezburger Binge

How could I resist! These are brilliant!


Wednesday May 21st.

The tasks never end. I got my tool delivery yesterday. It’s like Christmas morning except that I do not get to keep what I open. I get me final silver delivery by Friday and I will finish winding and packaging this weekend. I am not on my usual efficient schedule of being done a week early but there have been some things that have been out of my hands and I will be done and ready to go by the time I need to be.

I have been repacking all of the tools this morning so they can be found and set up in an orderly manner when I get to the show. I am lucky enough to have 3 really cool people (Cris, Gail and Karen) assisting me in setting up my classroom when I arrive in Milwaukee. That makes the daunting job seem not so bad and I know it will be filled with laughter and silliness!

The heat has been welcome and my bones are pleased with the warmth. I am swimming at least twice a day and I love the fact that I can swim at dusk and watch the sun go down.

I spent the 90 minutes getting the damage to my car looked at. I will never get that 90 minutes back. That is what makes it all the more frustrating when I think about the fact that the child who hit me was on her way to Europe for a paid summer vacation while I stood and wasted my time.

I did manage to get an appointment for a haircut so I will be well groomed for the show. That is always a really important thing.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tuesday May20th.

So I am just getting all of my tasks done, the grocery store and the post office. I pulled out of my parking space at the post office had not dropped the shift into drive and some really stupid driver who does not know how to look in her rear view mirror backs into the drivers side door of my car. I really have no tolerance for that kind of stupid. There is no excuse at all for not checking behind you before you start backing out of your parking spot. Oh, that’s right she was chatting with her friend in the passenger seat as I honked my horn and tried to get her attention. This is the last thing that I need right now! I do not have the time for this crap

Well after I go the claims adjustment office this morning to waste several more hours of my day I will get back to work and start packing up for the show.

I am not a fan of starting off my day in a less than positive attitude.

Remember; Rainbows, Butterflies & Unicorns!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Monday May 19th.

I have to thank Karen for reminding me that I absolutely adore Bugs Bunny!!!
This is one of my 2 favorites.

I was a packaging fiend yesterday. I just plowed through assembling all of my jump ring kits. I looked up and hours had passed and the pile of completed kits had grown exponentially. I LOVE IT when that happens. I cannot believe that I leave for Milwaukee in just over a week.

Wow, it just stuns me how fast time can go, you turn around and an entire week has passed and then an entire month is gone. Suddenly you look up and realize… I need a haircut! Time can be fickle and at times even cruel, the song “Time is on Your Side” is crap. Time is rarely on your side. If I have realized one thing, it is that everything can change in just one moment, you have NO control over that and your world can be forever altered without you even seeing it turn the corner.

The heat has arrived, it will be 104º today and I could not be happier about it. The warmth is so welcome. My back and knees love it when they are warm from the inside out. My sleep patterns are inching their way back ever so slowly. I have actually been getting more than 4 or 5 hours for the last several nights. I hope the control of that portion of my life is returning!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Saturday May 17th.

I had a very interesting conversation today, I was asked to take an imaginary walk through a wood and to look at the path I was on and discover a cup on that path. I saw a pristine blue and white Wedgwood Tea Cup & Saucer. I picked it up and looked over to see how beautiful it was and left it to continue on my journey. (I said that it was obviously not mine and that I was sure that someone would come back to look for it.) At the end of the walk through the woods I was told the see a wall, climb over the wall and asked to describe what I saw over the wall. I saw a beautiful field with the Emerald City from the Wizard of Oz in the distance.

I was told that my cup was a cup of strength and the fact that it was a bone cup (not easy to see through) was important because I could be difficult to read or to figure out but that was ok. The significance of leaving the cup was that I was not finished yet and had more to do and would come back for the cup later. The view of the field over the wall was the Elysian Fields and the Emerald City is what I thought the afterlife would be like. (I was pleased about that because I said that I would definitely go up the man behind the curtain and ask for the answers to all of the questions that I had.)

So, I had a really, really, really productive day as well as a really, really, really hard day. There was loads done, more accomplished but importantly, loads more gleaned. Understanding and acknowledgement of ones true self (mind & soul) is important. Also important, is learning that what you have surmised but were not totally sure of was, in fact, a firm reality that you were not alone in this understanding. Actually coming face to face with these insights may hurt like hell but the final verbalization of these summations can only assist in further understanding and forward momentum.

Insight to the human soul is an amazing thing. Weather this insight comes through introspection, observation or the general accumulation of information, all of it is necessary to gain understanding. Once gathered, glance back the road traveled to see your journey, see the location that you are in and make clear choices as to which path to choose for your future. If in your heart you think, or you believe, that you have this insight and when that insight proves true it can do one of three things.
a. It can reaffirm the understanding that you believed.
b. It can change everything that you believed in.
c. Or in some strange way it can even do both.
My day was definably C. I gained a clearer insight to my perceptions. Affirmation of these perceptions has actually altered my opinions. I cannot find the words to accurately describe the “C” part right now but I am sure to my core that there has been a fundamental shift today.

Saturday Morning May 17th.

Beautiful Wreck lyrics

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve given up on you
But you make such a beautiful wreck you do
There’s a tavern on the corner called the Milky Way
And you look so at home there it makes me afraid

And at the dark end of this bar
What a beautiful wreck you are
When you go too far, beautiful wreck you are

Well all the plans that you had
from seven years ago
Like all the promises you make
I watched them come and go
You put your keys in the car but it wouldn’t drive
With your hands on the wheel lookin’ barely alive
I’m still sitting here waiting on the passenger side
For you to make up your mind
For you to make up your mind

At the dark end of this bar
What a beautiful wreck you are
When you go too far,
Beautiful wreck you are
What a beautiful, such a beautiful
A beautiful wreck you are
What a beautiful, such a a beautiful wreck

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve given up on you
But you make such a beautiful wreck you do
Yeah, you make such a beautiful wreck you do
You make such a beautiful wreck you do

At the dark end of this bar
What a beautiful wreck you are
When you go too far
Beautiful wreck you are
What a beautiful, such a beautiful
Beautiful wreck you are
What a beautiful, such a beautiful
Beautiful wreck you are

Friday, May 16, 2008

Friday May 16th.

Could not pass this one up either!

Yesterday was a day full of accomplishments. Even more items checked off of my list. It gets ever smaller. Praise Be!

I have spent a great deal of time over the past 2 or 3 weeks figuring out what classes I am going to offer for Interweave’s Bead Fest and Bead Expo for next year. Offering classes is an interesting undertaking. It is so easy to fall into a false sense of security and rest on ones past accomplishments and not really put any effort into the process. I did that one-year and I paid a hefty price. I recycled several old classes and I had the lowest class sign-ups of my teaching career.

Once I figured out that the entire process is task and goal oriented that made it easier to kick-start the process. Along with putting up a good picture, it’s the description of what you are going teach and how you explain what is going to be taught that excites and captures a prospective student. I have found that there to many submissions that rest on past performances and reputations and do not really offer anything of substance but were thrown together with little thought.

It can be a clear and simple task. Just daunting at times, that’s for sure!

Have a sample that can be closely replicated or at least the student’s rendition of the sample can be an accomplished. It comes down to the simple fact that they signed up for the class because they liked the picture and want to be able to make one as well.

Have clear goals for the class. What are they going to walk away with? Make sure it is a project that can be completed in class, can and will be completed easily after class or they walk away with techniques that will be useful in their creative future.

Be clear about what techniques will be explored. What will they learn from you and how can you give them more? MORE! MORE! MORE! Always MORE !

Put some effort, thought and care into the sample and do not fall into complacency. All I ever have to do is remind myself that the class is for the student and it is my responsibility to make sure that what I am offering will be as exciting to teach as it will be for them to learn!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thursday May15. Morning Post

Jill made a mention to check out this site for grins and giggles.
I Can Haz Cheesburger

Well it's true, I have not laughed this hard, out loud and alone for a long time.
They are all good but this one made me laugh till I cried.
Thank you for the morning laughter Jill.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wednesday May 14th.

Yesterday was cold, gloomy, windy, stormy and all around a ucky kind of day. That is until I went to the post office to do my web site sales run did the wind bring in the smell or rain. The scent of rain approaching is such an amazing sensation. The cool thing about Tucson is that mountains surround the city and the storms get “stuck” on the mountains. You can actually see the storms gain strength and then they cascade in. The wind picked up and the smell of the rain approaching made my day. I got home and we had a 5-minute shower that just cleared the air and made everything smell sweet.

I look around at all of the beauty that is just outside my door and am always so impressed with nature and how it is all woven into an intricate fabric that is right there for us to view. I can see the mountains, the cacti are flowering and nature is just outside my door.

Each day I get more done and am able to cross more items off of my list. As I get closer to the end of that list, optimism grows, I am just keeping my eye trained the finish line and the ultimate goal. As a reward for a making these accomplishments, I grilled salmon and had a lovely dinner break.

This morning is beautiful, the sun is shining and the day promises to be warm and the pool inviting. I took a bit of the morning for my Zen ritual of cleaning to pool. It is such a greet way to great the day. Watching the suns shadow spread across the water and the rays of the sun warm your skin.

Karen posted a very insightful piece yesterday, read it. It is worthy!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Monday May 12th.

Well today kind of sucked bricks the size of cinder blocks. In other words. "it was a really hard day, all the way around!" I did get a great deal finished and accomplished but I am so ground down to the marrow, I am beyond tired and beyond well, everything.

I watched my Reds take control in the 7th, almost blow it in the 8th and keep it intact to win the game. It is really a treat to actually get to watch my Reds regularly this year; it is a nice change of pace.

I am getting so close to being done that I can hardly breath, so close in fact that I may jinx it all just by posting this. I am a believer in the jinx. If I start to watch a ball game and my team starts to loose I’ll watch something else and come back. It is the same with a tennis match. I k now it’s silly, but all the same, I feel that I have personally turned many a game just by tuning in.

I was listening and looking at some Sarah McLachian and found this rendition of "Because the Night" where she plays the piano with the AMAZING Patti Smith, whom I adore so much!

Take me now baby here as I am
Pull me close, try and understand
Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
Love is a banquet on which we feed

Come on now try and understand
The way I feel when I'm in your hands
Take my hand come undercover
They can't hurt you now,
Can't hurt you now, can't hurt you now
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to lust
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us

Have I doubt when I'm alone
Love is a ring, the telephone
Love is an angel disguised as lust
Here in our bed until the morning comes
Come on now try and understand
The way I feel under your command
Take my hand as the sun descends
They can't touch you now,
Can't touch you now, can't touch you now
Because the night belongs to lovers ...

With love we sleep
With doubt the vicious circle
Turn and burns
Without you I cannot live
Forgive, the yearning burning
I believe it's time, too real to feel

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sunday May 11th.

Happy Mothers Day to all of the mothers out there.
These are for all you! Wish I could do more!

I believe that I am trying not to get sick. I woke yesterday with a sore throat, stuffy and feeling rather crappy. I took it easy in the morning hours, drank my juice, half slept later than usual and ran a few errands. I did not get to winding wire as I had hoped but I did get all 100 of the Woven Chain Kits finished. That consists a lot of easy tasks that would not make me feel any worse.

I did watch the Indiana Jones trilogy while working on the Woven Kits. It was fun to watch them again but they showed then in reverse order. Very strange, I had not watched Temple of Doom for years. There were a lot of gross things in the movie that I remember not liking! Well I still don’t, I closed my eyes a great many times. Eeek!

I had really weird dreams last night!
In my best Karen Allen Voice – “Damn you Indiana Jones!”

Well, I actually got some sleep last night and this morning. I did have a 2 hour interval from 3 to 5 that I thought I was hosed but I got back to sleep. And during that extra morning rest I experience a special event. There is that most beautiful moment right between sleep and waking. That moment when you are just awake enough to know that you are asleep, not fully awake, but you are aware. You are in such a relaxed that you have answered all of questions of life and even the origins of the universe are at the edge of your conscience and it is all so simple. You are so close to being able to grasp it that all you have to do is to be just a bit more awake and you can answer everything…..then as you try to wake just enough to really understand, you rouse and see it all slip away from you. We are so much more than we know we are. If we can answer those questions in our sleep we are just moments from answering them in our waking time. Every night holds the possibility of answers in the morning.

The more we try to understand the farther away understanding is.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Friday May 9th.

I had a more productive day to some extent. I got my biggest handout done for my 3-day workshop. I got half of my wire order in and all of the smaller orders are trickling in. I had a hammer order that was supposed to be delivered to me in Portland and has been in the FedEx abyss for 60 days. Can you believe it? They have been found and are on their way to me! I will have my favorite large hammers available in Milwaukee.

I think that I finally have a partial solution to my not sleeping thing. I think I have a pinched nerve in my neck/shoulder and it has been getting worse ever so slowly. So slowly in fact that it has snuck up on me! I put one of my secret weapons on. A student gave me these a few years ago, a Korean poultice patch. It is this warming patch that I get from the Korean Grocery and it works miracles with this combination of warmth and herbs that slowly easy the muscle tension. Between that and remembering not to clench my jaw at night I may actually get my schedule back on track. I have tried teas, and warm milk and a variety of other remedies. I hope that this will start the trend back to a better nights sleep.

I will be in full winding and cutting mode by noon tomorrow. It is really a Zen thing for me. I put my iPod on shuffle and I loose my mind in music and thought. Then after a few hours of that I will choose to loose myself in baseball. How much better can a day be! I am looking forward to the peaceful place that I get to go to when I start this process.

I have good news to share, I believe that my bats are back. One was spotted this evening during a moonlight swim. It would be so excellent to see them again.

Tao Te Ching – Chapter 81

True words aren't eloquent;
eloquent words are not true.
Wise men don’t need to prove their point;
men who need to prove their point aren’t wise.

The Master has no possessions.
The more he does for others,
the happier he is.
The more he gives to others,
the wealthier he is.

The Tao nourishes by not forcing.
By not dominating, the Master leads.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Thursday May 8th

I have had a rather trying day. I have been skirting a headache since around 11am. I had a real hard time just trying to focus on the tasks that I had on my plate today. I got a minimal amount done. I am rather unimpressed with myself. I am hopeful that tomorrow will be as better day. I think that a big part of it has to do with the fact that my sleep patterns have been screwed up for the past 5 months. I am working like crazy to get my sleep patterns back.

I did get one more handout finished and more printing done. I got several deliveries for B&B and this weekend will be spent getting class kits ready. For the last several years I have made sure that I am ready to go one week before I have to pack it all up and get in the car and start driving. I take that last week to keep going over everything to make sure that I have not forgotten anything. Every year I always miss something but each year the list keeps getting smaller. That in itself is positive I hope this year will follow the same pattern.

I am amazed at the crap that humans are willing to take on. There are people out there in the world that do not deserve what many would call compassion or understanding. They have used up everyone and everything that they have come into contact with and the path of destruction that is left in their wake is an amazing thing to behold. Selfish, self-serving, self-centered people keep others on a tether that they can yank at will, it is not until the others say “enough, no more” does the cycle stop. We as friends need to stand up and be heard, let these people know that it is ok to stand up and say “no more.” Do not let these friends of ours think that they do not deserve better.

No one deserves to be treated in a manner that we would not like to be treated. The ethic of reciprocity….. So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

The ethic of reciprocity in different faiths;

••• Bahá'í Faith: "Ascribe not to any soul that which thou wouldst not have ascribed to thee, and say not that which thou doest not." "Blessed is he who preferreth his brother before himself." Baha'u'llah
••• "And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose thou for thy neighbour that which thou choosest for thyself." Epistle to the Son of the Wolf

••• Brahmanism: "This is the sum of Dharma [duty]: Do naught unto others which would cause you pain if done to you". Mahabharata, 5:1517 "

••• Buddhism: "...a state that is not pleasing or delightful to me, how could I inflict that upon another?" Samyutta NIkaya v. 353
••• Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful." Udana-Varga 5:18

••• Christianity: "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." Matthew 7:12, King James Version.
bullet "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." Luke 6:31, King James Version.
••• "...and don't do what you hate...", Gospel of Thomas 6. The Gospel of Thomas is one of about 40 gospels that were widely accepted among early Christians, but which never made it into the Christian Scriptures (New Testament).

••• Confucianism: "Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you" Analects 15:23
••• "Tse-kung asked, 'Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?' Confucius replied, 'It is the word 'shu' -- reciprocity. Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.'" Doctrine of the Mean 13.3
••• "Try your best to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself, and you will find that this is the shortest way to benevolence." Mencius VII.A.4

••• Ancient Egyptian:"Do for one who may do for you, that you may cause him thus to do." The Tale of the Eloquent Peasant, 109 - 110 Translated by R.B. Parkinson. The original dates to 1970 to 1640 BCE and may be the earliest version ever written. 3

••• Hinduism: This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you. Mahabharata 5:1517

••• Humanism: "(5) Humanists acknowledge human interdependence, the need for mutual respect and the kinship of all humanity."
••• "(11) Humanists affirm that individual and social problems can only be resolved by means of human reason, intelligent effort, critical thinking joined with compassion and a spirit of empathy for all living beings. " 4
••• "Don't do things you wouldn't want to have done to you, British Humanist Society. 3

••• Islam: "None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." Number 13 of Imam "Al-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths." 5

••• Jainism: "Therefore, neither does he [a sage] cause violence to others nor does he make others do so." Acarangasutra 5.101-2.
••• "In happiness and suffering, in joy and grief, we should regard all creatures as we regard our own self." Lord Mahavira, 24th Tirthankara
••• "A man should wander about treating all creatures as he himself would be treated. "Sutrakritanga 1.11.33

••• Judaism: "...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.", Leviticus 19:18
••• "What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. This is the law: all the rest is commentary." Talmud, Shabbat 31a.
••• "And what you hate, do not do to any one." Tobit 4:15 6

••• Native American Spirituality: "Respect for all life is the foundation." The Great Law of Peace.
••• "All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is ••• One." Black Elk
••• "Do not wrong or hate your neighbor. For it is not he who you wrong, but yourself." Pima proverb.

••• Roman Pagan Religion: “The law imprinted on the hearts of all men is to love the members of society as themselves.”

••• Shinto: "The heart of the person before you is a mirror. See there your own form"
••• "Be charitable to all beings, love is the representative of God." Ko-ji-ki Hachiman Kasuga

••• Sikhism: Compassion-mercy and religion are the support of the entire world". Japji Sahib
••• "Don't create enmity with anyone as God is within everyone." Guru Arjan Devji 259
••• "No one is my enemy, none a stranger and everyone is my friend." Guru Arjan Dev : AG 1299

••• Sufism: "The basis of Sufism is consideration of the hearts and feelings of others. If you haven't the will to gladden someone's heart, then at least beware lest you hurt someone's heart, for on our path, no sin exists but this." Dr. Javad Nurbakhsh, Master of the Nimatullahi Sufi Order.

••• Taoism: "Regard your neighbor's gain as your own gain, and your neighbor's loss as your own loss." T'ai Shang Kan Ying P'ien.
••• "The sage has no interest of his own, but takes the interests of the people as his own. He is kind to the kind; he is also kind to the unkind: for Virtue is kind. He is faithful to the faithful; he is also faithful to the unfaithful: for Virtue is faithful." Tao Teh Ching, Chapter 49

"The inherent worth and dignity of every person;"
"Justice, equity and compassion in human relations.... "
"The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;"
"We affirm and promote respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part." Unitarian principles. 7,8

••• Wicca: "An it harm no one, do what thou wilt" (i.e. do what ever you will, as long as it harms nobody, including yourself). One's will is to be carefully thought out in advance of action. This is called the Wiccan Rede

••• Yoruba: (Nigeria): "One going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts."

••• Zoroastrianism: "That nature alone is good which refrains from doing unto another whatsoever is not good for itself". Dadistan-i-dinik 94:5
••• "Whatever is disagreeable to yourself do not do unto others." Shayast-na-Shayast 13:29

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Absolute Brilliance

I was hoping that this was out there in the world.

Of course it was! There is nothing like Tim & Harvey!

Wednesday May 7th.

My morning was spent in my zen state while I watered the plants in the back yard and cleaned the pool. I planned for an afternoon swim and did not want to have that "action item" later on. The morning was so beautiful today. The light was so clean, and the air had the slightest crispness to it.

Oh, by the way...I HATE the phrase "Action Item!" I HATE it with a passion and has no equal. I do not know why I am keeping it in right now, it may come down later, it may not!

I am on a total tear right now. I have gone through 2 ½ reams of paper and I am finally seeing the light at the end of the printing tunnel. Today was spent re-working price sheets, fact sheets and making one of the three remaining handouts that I need. I am so close! I gave myself a reward and went out to dinner tonight and then went for a dusk swim.

I have not seen my bats yet this year. For the past 2 summers I have had this wonderful pair of bats that would dive bomb the pool at dusk. We had this really beautiful relationship. I would swim and they would not come after my head. I miss them. I really do. I feel as if part of my summer tradition is missing. I will keep a faithful watch for them.

My orders started arriving today. The big one, the silver and fine silver order, will come before the weekend. That means that I am a winding and cutting fool this weekend.

I found this video by total accident. It put me into a trance-like state.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Just because I wanted to laugh!

Tuesday May 6th.

Jeez, my day was spent taking away as many years off of my printer as humanly possible. I got 80% of all of my printing done today. I have hundreds of ounces of wire arriving and my tool and supply orders will start getting into Tucson over the next several days. I am in FULL OUT PRODUCTION MODE! Look out! I’m getting it done!

I have been corresponding with Jean Yeats for the last 10 days or so; she has several projects that she is working on and has had some need of jump rings and tools. We have had long talks and traded many emails. Tonight I got the coolest thing from her.

I got 3 sounds from her today.
I got
A Mad Bird
Angry Birds
And Tree Frogs.
Each made me laugh louder than the prior one. It made my day!!!

I believe that how we deal with our friends and loved ones during a time of distress or loss is the truest test of our humanity.

I went to an open house a few weeks ago for a realtor friend of mine and I met a local Tucson artist. We struck up a conversation and in the course of talking figured out that we both had the same job in the same art store in NYC in the late 80’s. She took over my job after I left. We really had a fantastic hour-long conversation of all of our old haunts and I had to tell her of the sad news that St. Marks Pizza is no longer there.

She lost her father a few days ago after an illness and my heart goes out to her and her family. I do not know really know her and we have only traded emails and had that one conversation. She has to go to the funeral and has requested assistance for her property during her travels. I emailed my offer of assistance knowing full well that I am a complete stranger.

So, as I said, how we deal with our loss and the losses of others is the truest test of our humanity. I lost my father 2 years ago and I feel her loss keenly. My friends were right there for me that night. My friend Anne from San Francisco stayed up on the phone with me for hours just talking and listening and my friends Ruth and Lise were calling every 30 minutes to make sure that I had everything I needed. I never felt more alone than that night in Pacific Grove. I walked along the ocean till the sun rose so I would not have to wake up the reality of what I had lost. No one should ever be that alone and if I have a chance to offer my support, there it will be.

Our most intimate relationships are the ones that we rely on and the ones that give us solace. If any of those relationships let us down in any manner those are the one that need to be evaluated and put in a place where they can not longer hurt you! How we deal with our fellow human beings in times of great distress and pain is the truest test of humanity.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Monday May 5th.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, have a beer at the end of the day and prepare to watch Max Scherzer make his starting debut with the Arizona Diamondbacks. After his history setting relief debut I am so ready to see this man pitch. I wish him the best of luck and I am sure that many will be rooting right along with me! Go! Max! Go!

I got home last night after my 3 days in Phoenix and I was very pleased to be home. It is always so nice to be in my bed next to my two girls and wake with the fuzzy beasts making sure that I have survived the night by waking me with various silliness that only cats can come up with. When I lived in California, my love-bug Niki would use her paw and open the venetian blinds one row at a time till the sunshine would hit me in the eye to wake me up. The moment that they sense me waking up they are all over me to make sure that they are fed and watered.

I have had a really productive day with many accomplishments. I am still hoping for a really good B&B and am really looking forward to spending time with friends that I have not seen in a very long time. I keep plugging along and keeping the important things in the forefront of my mind.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Sunday May 4th.

Yesterday was a busy day at the show here in Phoenix. Once again, I have been lucky and have Internet access in the hall, so I can keep up to date on the ball scores. The connection is not that fast so I can’t watch the games. Kind of disappointing but oh well, we can’t have everything.

I was devastated by the news from the Kentucky Derby yesterday. The filly Eight Belles who came in second to Big Brown pulled up at the end of the race and broke both of her front ankles. She was put down at the finish line with-in minutes. I had just turned on ESPN in my hotel room to catch some of the late baseball scores and was excited to see the Derby coverage. My joy turned to horror as the story unfolded before me. I cried as I watched the news.
Horses are such beautiful creatures and they love to run more than anything and a true racer is never happier then when they are going full bore with the wind in their mane. When you look them in the eye you see just how smart they actually are and they crave the sensation of winning. I do not understand it but it is so true. They love the race! There is really nothing to compare to the sensation of power you have when you ride and you are in sync with your horse.
A friend of mine was asking me what the big deal about horse racing was and all I could say is that it is truly a way of life. These breeders, trainers and jockeys love these animals like family and are so proud of the lineage and the beauty that is in their care. I grew up in Dayton and Louisville, KY is just a short drive down I-75 and that horse race is a really big deal where I come from. There is nothing like the feel of real Kentucky Blue Grass under your feet and as a child we would drive through horse country the fields of grass and the long runs of the white fence lines accentuates the simplicity of the countryside where these amazing creatures are raised. I loved driving past the farms and watching the horses race alongside the fences and race the cars.

I will drive home this evening and wake up tomorrow in my own room. I have missed my girls and am ready to be home for a few weeks till I leave again for Bead & Button. These next weeks will be crazy getting everything ready.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Really Happy Anniversary

For the Canadian Anniversary!
This is what I wanted to post this morning!
I thought it was really funny!

No lumberjacks! I looked searched and searched!
This came in a close second!

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Karen & Frances!

Dance, Play and be forever young at heart!

Saturday May 3rd.

The first day of the Bead Expo Phoenix was fun. My best surprise was that the sweet Joyce Rooks was just 3 tables away. What a wonderful surprise to see her and to spend just a bit if time with her. I never get to see her too much and it is always a treat to see what she is up to and what she is creating a playing. (She is a bad-ass cello player!)

I have had a really wonderful time. My friend Vickie that is in the process of moving from Austin TX, (She is such a Texas kind of gal.) to Las Vegas for work spent the last two days hanging out with me on her way west. It has been her first experience into the bead world, and she has been a real trooper hanging out for a day at a bead show so we could go to a ball game last night.

Now, I am sorry to report that the D-Backs lost last night. Micah Owings, who was 4&0 did not pitch well right from the start. He got hit for 3 runs in the first inning and the D-Backs could just not fight back to ever get back into the game. The exciting part of the night was that Jose Reyes came with in 4 feet of hitting for the cycle. His first hit was a lead off triple at the start of the game, then a double, a single then…in the top of the eighth inning he was 4 feet away from an in the park home run. I have never seen a player hit for the cycle in a live game and to see a player like Reyes, who is so good, come go close, I was disappointed to not have him have that feather in his cap. It was exciting to watch though.

Tonight will be a very different evening. Diner with Jill Wiseman and Jane and Robin from Jane’s Fiber and Beads and I am sure to bed rather early. These shows are an interesting mix of folks it is always such a treat to see everyone.

Thanks to the folks at Interweave for setting up the tickets to the game last night! It was such a good time

Jill me & Vickie enjoying the main treats of a game.
A Polish Hot dog with all of the appropriate condiments!

The Amazing Joyce Rooks hanging out and having fun!

Bryan & Susan Nestor enjoying a moment of Tom-Foolery

Friday, May 2, 2008

Friday May 2nd.

The drive to Phoenix was delightful, I had a chance to catch up with Gail Moore on the drive and wave at the Ostrich farm on the way for her. I got to have dinner with friends last night and we had blast.

MAY! May is a beautiful month, new beginnings and rebirth and spring is really here! I love spring, I take that thing you are supposed to do on New Years Eve and ponder it till spring and then see if it is a worthy resolution. This year has been a year of revelations and of resolutions. I have solidified much and found paths to clarity that I am very pleased to have uncovered.

Words are so important, our words are everything to us. The spoken word is such a basic way we, as human beings, express ourselves. Our ability to communicate and let others know how we are feeling and what we are thinking is a powerful and essential tool. They lets us share the essence of what it means to be human.

When our ability to verbally express ourselves is taken away from us we loose the very base of our humanity. There is a great deal to be said about a written message, the eloquence of a letter can be one of the most beautiful things and is something the recipient can treasure always. But so much can be misconstrued when a message is read instead of heard, the correspondence can loose it’s intent when the speakers’ intonation cannot be heard

Our words last forever, never forget that! A cruel phrase spoken in grief, anger, cowardice, fear or malicious intent will stay with the listener or reader forever. No matter how much time passes, no matter how many apologies we poffer, no matter how many kisses are given heal the wound, a vicious statement will resonate in the ears of the listener forever. Each of us have words that can devastate and crumble a person, we all know how to say that certain something that can wound to the very core of a soul. That kind of power carries with it a responsibility to consider our phrases so carefully so we, as humans, are never willingly the cause of such a wound.

So many speak or write without thought for how our words will impact forever the person that has to read or hear them. But even worse, are those who use words knowing fully that they will devastate the person that they are intended for.

I could be that person! I have an awful temper and it took me such a long time to understand the impact that my words actions had on those whom I directed that anger towards. If you ticked me off I would strike back with a ferocity that was blinding and often wounded deeply. I would say the first thing that came to my mind without thinking, is this what I really want to say? Is this the real issue?

I remember the last time I really lost my temper with absolute clarity. It was 1988 and it was in June. I was a temperamental 25 year old and I was sure that it was absolutely acceptable for me to say anything that I wanted and there were no lasting ramifications of those words. It should just be understood… that’s just the way I am. It’s my nature to just say what I am thinking and you all just have to deal.

I don’t think that I was really even angry with my partner; I was just aiming in that general direction. I was angry at something that was so stupid and so trivial that I am too embarrassed to even remember what it was. But somewhere in the midst of that verbal tirade I caught a glimpse of my partners face and I saw the pain that was inflicting. That moment will forever be caught in my minds eye and at that moment I swore I would try to never again allow my words to inflict that much anguish.

Speak with clarity, purpose, generosity, caring, and fore thought. Be kind and loving and remember your words will last forever.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Thursday May 1st.

Here is the next installment of the funny cat video.
Here is "Let me in!"