Monday, May 26, 2008

Monday May 27th.

I hope everyone had a nice Memorial Day.
It was very cool to see the first of the images from the The Phoenix Mars Lander.

Well the day was a fun filled day of cleaning up the mess that I have made of my house while I was getting ready for B&B. I packed up my tumblers and a few odds and ends and cleaned like a mad woman. This is the kind of clean that I love; I move bookshelves from walls and get behind everything. I did all of the laundry and all I have left to do is pack my clothes that takes about 15 minutes. I am the kind of person that starts thinking about what I want to take a long time in advance and have it all laid out in my head. So all I really have to do is just grab it out of the closet and stuff it all in my luggage.

I am so ready to see all of the people that I enjoy so much and only get to see a few times a year. This is the one week where all of us meet and we get to catch up and have good food, a few drinks and get all caught up. I cannot wait to hang with Andrea & Whit, Cris & Paul, Stacey, Karen, Susan, Jill, Kathy & LisaNivenKelly (it really is just one word). I cannot wait to see everyone and see all of the work and all of the stuff and get caught up.

I cannot even express how ready I am for this drive. I just want to have the singular task of watching the horizon expand and pass me. I get to listen to my tunes and my thoughts and just consider it all, everything. As much as everything changes, I have realized that everything truly is a cycle. It was just this time last year that I found myself in exactly the same place as I am now in so many ways. It’s not just the drive that was before me but I was also in the same cycle personally. I found that realization an amazing thing. Last year I had the opportunity to see, to act, to learn and grow but I did not take that chance. I guess I was not ready for it. I believe that I am now. I find that there is a clarity available to me in driving, the shear simplicity (and complexity) of the task lets me delve deeper and find a greater meaning in so many things. I have been waiting for this trip for weeks and welcome the rhythm that it offers.

I have been reading more of Pablo Neruda, the words that he wrote are so powerful, sensuous and at times even wrenching and always so beautiful.

Here is one that I found very powerful:

XVII (I do not love you…)

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

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