Friday May 2nd.

The drive to Phoenix was delightful, I had a chance to catch up with Gail Moore on the drive and wave at the Ostrich farm on the way for her. I got to have dinner with friends last night and we had blast.

MAY! May is a beautiful month, new beginnings and rebirth and spring is really here! I love spring, I take that thing you are supposed to do on New Years Eve and ponder it till spring and then see if it is a worthy resolution. This year has been a year of revelations and of resolutions. I have solidified much and found paths to clarity that I am very pleased to have uncovered.

Words are so important, our words are everything to us. The spoken word is such a basic way we, as human beings, express ourselves. Our ability to communicate and let others know how we are feeling and what we are thinking is a powerful and essential tool. They lets us share the essence of what it means to be human.

When our ability to verbally express ourselves is taken away from us we loose the very base of our humanity. There is a great deal to be said about a written message, the eloquence of a letter can be one of the most beautiful things and is something the recipient can treasure always. But so much can be misconstrued when a message is read instead of heard, the correspondence can loose it’s intent when the speakers’ intonation cannot be heard

Our words last forever, never forget that! A cruel phrase spoken in grief, anger, cowardice, fear or malicious intent will stay with the listener or reader forever. No matter how much time passes, no matter how many apologies we poffer, no matter how many kisses are given heal the wound, a vicious statement will resonate in the ears of the listener forever. Each of us have words that can devastate and crumble a person, we all know how to say that certain something that can wound to the very core of a soul. That kind of power carries with it a responsibility to consider our phrases so carefully so we, as humans, are never willingly the cause of such a wound.

So many speak or write without thought for how our words will impact forever the person that has to read or hear them. But even worse, are those who use words knowing fully that they will devastate the person that they are intended for.

I could be that person! I have an awful temper and it took me such a long time to understand the impact that my words actions had on those whom I directed that anger towards. If you ticked me off I would strike back with a ferocity that was blinding and often wounded deeply. I would say the first thing that came to my mind without thinking, is this what I really want to say? Is this the real issue?

I remember the last time I really lost my temper with absolute clarity. It was 1988 and it was in June. I was a temperamental 25 year old and I was sure that it was absolutely acceptable for me to say anything that I wanted and there were no lasting ramifications of those words. It should just be understood… that’s just the way I am. It’s my nature to just say what I am thinking and you all just have to deal.

I don’t think that I was really even angry with my partner; I was just aiming in that general direction. I was angry at something that was so stupid and so trivial that I am too embarrassed to even remember what it was. But somewhere in the midst of that verbal tirade I caught a glimpse of my partners face and I saw the pain that was inflicting. That moment will forever be caught in my minds eye and at that moment I swore I would try to never again allow my words to inflict that much anguish.

Speak with clarity, purpose, generosity, caring, and fore thought. Be kind and loving and remember your words will last forever.