Thursday July 31st.

Can you believe that another month is gone!
Tomorrow is AUGUST? What the F?

Here are the Kinks: Tired of Waiting for You!

I'm so tired
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting for you

I'm so tired
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting for you

I was a lonely soul
I had nobody till I met you
But you keep-a me waiting
All of the time
What can I do?

Its your life
And you can do what you want
Do what you like
But please don't keep-a me waiting
Please don't keep-a me waiting

cause I'm so tired
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting for you

So tired
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting for you

I was a lonely soul
I had nobody till I met you
But you keep-a me waiting
All of the time
What can I do?

Its your life
And you can do what you want
Do what you like
But please don't keep-a me waiting
Please don't keep-a me waiting

cause I'm so tired
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting for you

So tired
Tired of waiting
Tired of waiting for you
For you
For you

The world will never be the same!!! What a day!
After 4 ½ years: Ivan Pudge Rodriguez is moving to NY to play for the Yankees
After 8 ½ years: Ken Griffey Jr. is moving to the Chicago IL to play for the White Sox
After 7 ½ years: Manny Ramirez is moving to California to play for the Dodgers?

The MLB is shuffling around established players like chess pieces to make gains for the rundown to the fall classic!
The Yankees want another pennant and if they do not make the playoffs this year and the Dodgers do, all hell will break loose in NYC.
The Chicago White Sox have the worst hitting team in the Majors yet they still lead their division by a game and a half they need new blood to kick start the team and to rotate the lineup and give players some time off.
And the management of Boston is just fed up with Manny’s antics. I cannot blame them after his lackadaisical approach to the game for the last few weeks; it has been a truly shameful way to play the game!

Well the player trading ended at 4pm EST today! We will see if these trades have the desired effects for the

The door and overhang are done and it looks wonderful. I could not be more pleased with having this MAJOR issue with the house fixed and fixed really well. Like Monty said, I now know where to go if we
ever have an earthquake! This thing is SOLID!!!!!

An almost finished Bad Ass Door













A Finished Bad Ass Door


I got my B&B submissions all mailed off for processing by the staff and now comes the waiting game!
But more than anything, I am looking forward to Cris & Gail getting in on the 7th and Stacey showing up on the 8th. We are gonna have a blast playing with PMC and the new Bronze Clay and just generally having a really silly time filled with much gaiety and frivolity!

It is hot 108º at 6pm and I am going out for a swim and then back to work for just a few more hours!

Just Damn Funny

This is just great! I know exactly how he feels!

The Covering - Three of Cups: Celebration

The card in the Covering position highlights the important events, issues, attitudes or influences around the question or current situation.

This should be a time of pleasure, plenty and success, in the emotional sense at the very least. There is an aura of kindness and happiness around you now, which you should foster and enjoy. Celebrations of one kind or another are often highlighted by this card, and love may be in the air, so take a deep breath.

Wednesday July 30th.

Pudge off to the Yankee's I Am In Stunned Disbelief!

It is the trading time after the MLB All-Star break. Now and the most devastating news came in, Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez is now a Yankee. He may play for them as soon as Thursday night. He had a no trade clause in his contract and actually opted to go to the Yanks. There must be some real issues for him and the Detroit management for that to happen. He went to play for Detroit when NO ONE would go play for the Tigers. This is a HUGE blow.

So, my outdoor project should be done tomorrow. I am pleased and am ready for it all to be done! I’ll have pic’s of the finished project when Monty is all finished up! Then it is the HUGE task of cleaning up the mess that is my yard. Yeesh! The rains have caused havoc and it is gonna take some doing to get it back under control. As much as I love the desert, I have never had to remove grass, I have always tried to cultivate the stuff and make it grow now I am trying to kill it all off.

I finished up all of my B&B submissions last night and also got all of the pictures taken today. That was a really big undertaking. Off to the post office tomorrow and into the waiting hands of judges of the B&B staff. Nothing like waiting for the last minute to get it all done. The post mark has to be July 31st. Hey Marlene....At least I am on time for the second year in a row!!!! I swore to her that after my submissions from 2 years ago, I would never be a problem again. I hope I have lived up to my promise.

Why do so many individuals find it necessary to be so damn two faced!
I really mean it.
I am so sick and tired of the “It’s so nice to see you, oh pardon me, is that my knife in your back?” attitude that is so prevalent in life today. There are so few people that are actually honest and forthright. What is it that they actually fear? There are times when I am so depressed by people in general, I mean the person that feigns consideration and then just loads up all of the self-righteous indignation! What a load of crap!

There are things that have happened in my life that have reinforced my faith in human nature and there are things that have happened that have taken a toll on that faith. The most amazing thing is that it has been the stranger that has continually surprised me for the good and the “friend” that has been source of the disappointments.

Can someone explain this to me? I really mean it; this is a huge issue for me right now! Why are people that are supposed to be considerate the ones that turn out be so two-faced. What is up with the ones that seem to have no qualms with saying one thing and their actions portray another reality all together. I mean really…if statements made cannot be remembered correctly, I recommend keeping copious notes so you don’t look like an idiot when you get caught saying the total opposite.

Tuesday July 29th.

Can't Find My Way Home


Come down off your throne and leave your body alone.
Somebody must change.
You are the reason I've been waiting so long.
Somebody holds the key.

But I'm near the end and I just ain't got the time
And I'm wasted and I can’t find my way home.

Come down on your own and leave your body alone.
Somebody must change.
You are the reason I've been waiting all these years.
Somebody holds the key.

But I can’t find my way home.
But I can’t find my way home.
But I can’t find my way home.
But I can’t find my way home.
Still I can’t find my way home,
And I ain’'t done nothing wrong,
But I can’t find my way home.

The progress continues on all fronts. I have only one more submission to finish up for next years B&B. I think that I have done a good job and I am very happy indeed with my workshop submission. I have taken my techniques to the next level and feel that I am ready to teach a few new things. So, there we have it! As soon as I receive notification of classes I will let you all in on the new classes.

The door to the Studio/Garage is coming along very nicely as well. Monty has outdone himself this time 'round. I could not be more pleased with how it is all coming together! Tomorrow, the porch overhang is to be installed and I am really looking forward to it being all done.
























I want to have the place rather spiffed up by the time Cris, Gail and Stacey all show up!!!!

I got my new stove yesterday, I gave up on restoring the O'Keefe and Merit that was purchased for the kitchen. I lost all affection for the appliance and what it represented months ago and no longer had any interest in fixing it up. So for the first time in 16 months I will be able to actually cook in my house and not just have a grill, hot plate and a microwave. Yea for me for getting my act together for my guests. It a nice thing to have all of the amenities available for them. Don't you think?

Monday July 28th

It has been a crazy, crazy few days. I am with-in sight of getting my B&B submissions finished up. Nothing like pondering all of your options till you have to make all of your choices at the very last minute. I can procrastinate with the best of them, I really can. It goes back to my theatre days; I would wait to pick color for a project till the very last available moment. I had to choose from hundreds of colors and I felt trapped if I made a final choice, it has carried over into other aspects of my life. I am trying to not let it get me into trouble as is has been known to do!

I have been a rather non-social gal for some time now! I have found that there are things that really needed to be gone over in fine detail. Looking back, reflecting and viewing the minutia, there were signs in my life as big as a bulldozer but that at the time I was to blinded to see them. I see as never before, and so I now feel more then ever before! Raw is raw, that is the long and the short of it!

Karen posted
il·lu·sion
Pronunciation: \i-lü-zhen\
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin illusion-, illusio.
a (1): a misleading image presented to the vision (2): something that deceives or misleads intellectually b (1): perception of something objectively existing in such a way as to cause misinterpretation of its actual nature

It is more of a true-ism than I could have ever known! How poignant and how relevant.

Saturday July 26th - PM Edition

Siegfried Sassoon

You were glad to-night: and now you’ve gone away.
Flushed in the dark, you put your dreams to bed;
But as you fall asleep I hear you say
Those tired sweet drowsy words we left unsaid.

Sleep well: for I can follow you, to bless
And lull your distant beauty where you roam;
And with wild songs of hoarded loveliness
Recall you to these arms that were your home.

I love Manhole covers! I found a treasure trove of artistic Japanese cover!

Aren't they amazing?

Well the day was the day!
Loads done and yet, more to be done and the list grows shorter!

I finished up the rest of the kits done for Bead Fest Philly.
It is nice to have the classes full early and not have to guess about how much to bring and take the risk while spending large quantities of your earnings on the chance that the class will fill.

I processed a full kiln load tonight. I cannot wait to see the outcome!

I got to stand out in a soft warm rain this evening and watch the sun set to the west and the storm came in from the south and east. There is something in this ritual of mine that causes me to become very contemplative. So, while I continued to work a portion of my brain raced with everything!

What are you supposed to do after months of contemplation and reflection of your reality and yet still have many questions that have no answers? I realize that part of the process is to acknowledge and identify the questions.

My logical answer; It is part of life that there are some questions that will never be answered and learning to accept that is your lesson in this lifetime.
What do I think of that answer? I think it is a really crappy reality and one that is very unfair. I think we all deserve the real answers to our questions.

Saturday July 26th.

Very Busy Day! More This Evening!
Crappy Video Amazing Song!
The Cult: Painted On My Heart


I thought you'd be out of my mind
And I'd finally found a way to
Learn to live without you
I thought it was just a matter of time
Till I had a hundred reasons
Not to think about you
But it's just not so
And after all this time
I still can't let go
I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me

I was trying everything that I can
To get my heart to forget you
But it just can't seem to
I guess it's just no use
In every part of me
Is still a part of you

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart

Something in your eyes keeps haunting me
I'm trying to escape you
And I know there ain't no way to
To chase you from my mind

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me, baby

I've still got your face
I've still got your face
painted on my heart
painted on my heart
painted on my heart

Friday July 25th

Shoe Tree in my rear view mirror as I pulled away!









I had a very productive day today.
Many errands accomplished and task completed.
The rest of the weekend will be dedicated to getting all of my B&B submissions all polished up and ready for the scrutiny of the B&B panel.

I submitted all of the appropriate paperwork today; Michele Goldstein and I are trying to get a booth at the Whole Bead Show in Tucson this upcoming February. Wish us all of the luck that you can muster. It would be a real plus for this to happen for the both of us.

Abby Ahmad Singing "Tri-Me"
Click on her name and listen to her music on her MySpace site.


I need to step outside
Another day
Marks another way
Marks a new reason to hide
It's true when you slip
You slide
On the ground
Been pushed down by this
Primitive pride

My voice a stifled symphony
My veins pump
Liquid lethargy
But those that can avert casualty
Do not acquire sympathy
Step aside
Cause I want off this ride

Black hole ate the crippled cry
Of me, myself, and I
The vacuum is picturesque
For those who can pass the test
I may be turning blue
I may have some work to do
But try me
Tri -me

I detest this new dichotomy
To love to hate
The light in me
Too loud to hear
Too bright to see
The incest of infamy
To be or not to be

So I may be tainted in my truth
When I claim I'm bullet-proof
But every half-assed assault
Has been a death by default

Any day now
You will see
The singular me
When three become one
And one becomes enough

I'm blowing up
Taking off
Coming down
I'm not enough

It never starts
It never stops
A bell rings
A piano drops

I'm rubbing off
It's sinking in
I'm running fast
I'm running thin

This little bubble's gonna burst
It's me alone
And I come first

Thursday July 24th

I am home and my evening arrival to Tucson was greeted by a spectacular display of lighting as the monsoon approached from the Southwest. Great bolts stretched across the sky and made their way to the earth in a magnificent display of energy and power. For as long I remain in Tucson, I will never tire of these displays.

We left at 9am and decided to drive through Zion National Park instead of taking a detour that might add hours to our journey. On my drive out I saw a most amazing site. There was no place to stop to get out and take a picture of the thing and I knew I was not returning home by the same path. So, I placed the image in my visual Rolodex and knew that it would always stay with me. On the way to Zion, there was another! I do not understand…but it is so COOL! Look at what has been done!

Upon entering Zion National Park:
How can anything be allowed to be this impressive?
















150 million years of Mesozoic-aged sedimentation created this gash in he earth. At various periods in that time, warm, shallow seas, streams, ponds and lakes, vast deserts and dry near-shore environments covered the area. Massive shifts in the earth associated with the creation of the Colorado Plateaus lifted the region 10,000 feet starting 13 million years ago. It is no wonder that this placed is still held sacred and haunted by the ancestors of ancient people that lived there!

You fix your eyes upon this place and your soul cries out; it cries for the joy of witnessing the miraculous in nature and for the pain of knowing that no matter the medium; not ink, pigment nor verse can express the truth that you are so honored to gaze upon. Nothing can convey the size, the color the sounds and smells. Only your memory can bear a silent witness to this painted Sandstone perfection.

Two Gentleman of Verona

What an excellent evening and and excellent production.

The leads, wonderful!!! And the supporting cast? Stole the show!!!
And the old adage; never act along side of children or animals?
It held true! The dog stole every scene he was in.
He did nothing but be a dog and look really cute in a period blue ruffle collar.

It was a perfect, start and end to the days of theatre; begin and finish with a comedy.

I had forgotten that one of my favorite speeches of love is spoken in this play.

Who is Silvia? what is she,

That all our swains commend her?

Holy, fair, and wise is she;

The heaven such grace did lend her,

That she might admirèd be.

Is she kind as she is fair?

For beauty lives with kindness.

Love doth to her eyes repair,

To help him of his blindness,

And, being helped, inhabits there.

Then to Silvia let us sing,

That Silvia is excelling;

She excels each mortal thing

Upon the dull earth dwelling:

To her let us garlands bring.

So after an evening of true love I asked the Byzant to view my my current situation!

Click on the link to get yours!

The Covering - XVIII The Moon

The card in the Covering position highlights the important events, issues, attitudes or influences around the question or current situation.

There is an air of illusion or confusion around you at the moment. It could be that you are just not sure about what to make of things, or it could be that you are being deceived by someone, so be on your guard. Something is hidden for now: all the facts of an important matter have not yet been revealed. This makes it very difficult to make plans and decisions, and the best advice is to tread carefully, apply all the intuition you can muster, and avoid unnecessary risks.

Wednesday July 23rd

Here is a shot of one of the cutest kitten I have seen in a long time! My friend Pam E got 2 new kitties but this shot is by far the most excellent of the lot. There is something just so amazing about a cute little fuzzy thing that makes everyone go all mushy. HA, Gotcha! Every time!

Just kind of says....."look how cute I really am, aren't you lucky to have found me!

I know better! I really do know better than to have any expectations at all regarding anything! To say that the production of Othello was over done would be an understatement. It was like watching a really nice Fillet Mignon get charred beyond recognition. Now there were good performances, Iago and Cassio were excellent and truly enjoyable in every degree. But I had a very hard time suspending my disbelief and allowing myself to be transported to the time and place requested.

I do believe in the convention of the 4th wall. I love to have a tale preformed by a company of players and to be allowed to be a witness the world that they cavort in. There were just too many problems and to many things that that did not fit together to get to that beautiful point that you forget that you are in a theatre watching a play! I sincerely hope that last night was just a bad night. It does happen and the reviews for this show were very good indeed. I just remember a production of Othello that I saw ages ago that whenever the character of Iago came on stage the audience would “hiss” at him. He ate it up and played with it and used it to the fullest. Iago was so good last night I did want to hiss and boo at him.

Expectations are a death knell. Never expect to have your expectations be met. That way you will never be disappointed. It is a fact of life that has been driven home so many times that even though the lesson has been learned the glint of hope that has always existed would always get crushed like a bug. So, now……never expect the expected, and when for some random reason you may someday just be pleasantly surprised. Just don’t expect it!

Tonight is “2 Gentleman of Verona” It was Shakespeare's first comedy and there are a few holes in the context of the play but they are to be overlook for the shear brilliance of what the man was to write in the years to come!

I have no expectations; maybe I will be pleasantly surprised!

Yup, there is a dog on stage tonight.
The only Shakespeare play with a
live animal on stage.


A week or so ago I watched “The Holiday” a kind of warm and fuzzy movie with a message attached. It has stuck with me to the point that I looked up several of the monologues that Kate Winslet had and since I am here in the Utah in the presence of the of the Bard I remembered her speech and thought to share it.

Iris: The Holiday
I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said, "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and Valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

Tueday July 22nd

We were treated to Edmond Rostand's take on the life of Cyrano de Bergerac. There are at least 5 or 6 different versions of Cyrano’s life and this is one of my favorites. It is a bit wordy at times but very much symbolic of the theatre of that era. Last nights show was amazing, I had forgotten the beauty of the verse and the power of his poetry. His words are so eloquent and so raw, so real and so present and the actor delivering them was a perfect match and to boot he is married to the woman playing Roxanne in his really everyday life. More than anything else, I had forgotten that the first act is 2 hours long. Whew! I had to get another double espresso to stay alert enough for the hour-long second act.

There is much I miss about not seeing the variety of theatre I did when I lived in NYC and SF. The words stretch your mind and I love to listen to the Bards verse and to just let myself be swept away by it. The trick that I learned long ago was to not listen to hard, not to think about it too much and to just watch and in due course all of the nuances will become clear and you will innately understand as the beauty unfolds before your eyes and envelops your imagination.

Yesterday was a rather long day, 8 hours of driving followed by 2 full on Shakespearean productions. So, even after all of that and 2 cups of double shot coffee’s I slept hard for 6 hours and woke to the unfamiliar sound and smell of a lawn mower cutting grass! What’s grass? I can hardly remember. I also got to sleep with fresh air blowing in from the open sliding door, a luxury that I do not often get in the heat of a Tucson summer.

We went to a literary talk this morning about last’s night show. There was a Q&A session and I am amazed by some of the really inane questions that were queried. I admire the fact that people want to learn and I am grateful that festivals like this one offers to open up the Shakespearean world to everyone. But, there is the soul that just does not get it and continues to stream out unbelievable statements that even make the person running the Q&A do a double take. It was amazing to watch his reactions to some of the questions and observations made and he was very politically polite to all.

So after that the remainder of the early morning was spent perusing the Festival gift shop and walking around the campus and small but very quaint downtown shops. I found a really cool tin toy rocket that had to be mine! After having a light lunch and very European 2-hour siesta we all took a lovely swim.









What a treat to just relax for an entire afternoon. We are having a fun time after swimming, taking Jacuzzis, doing Sudoku with Carlisle, leaning how to juggle, play with Asia’s mask and listening to David make farting noises with his goggles.












I am eagerly anticipating this evening’s performance of Othello. To say that it is a tragedy is the understatement of the decade. This poor dude is duped beyond belief by the mean and treacherous Iago and the famous quote “as one who loved not wisely but too well” sums up the complete sadness for the tragic consequences that were set into action by jealously.

Monday July 21st.

As per usual, up at 3am out the door by 4am and in Cedar City 8 hours later and then directly off to the matinee of Taming of the Shrew. Interesting production, placed in Italy as WWII is ending and the male lead is an army officer. The production was very beautiful and technically well executed. There was only one major technical error when a roll-up drop that was to come in for a short scene dropped all the way to the floor. Not major but very obvious indeed.
I always have a problem with the Kate’s ending speech about haw a wife s to be obedient and listen to the master and sovereign of the house….BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! It is a wonderful show and very, very funny.

The drive out was so beautiful. I got a HUGE surprise when I drove over the Colorado River! I did not look closely enough at the map and as I drove over it I was dumb struck and actually had to stop at the visitors center and walk all the way across and back just to witness this gorgeous view!!!















The Conestoga Wagon for the 21st Century












Informational plate for the Bridge














View North of the newer highway bridge
it is pretty much a duplicate of the Southern Bridge that is now just for pedestrians.

Below are the views to the south and then north.


































615 feet straight down!

Sunday July 20th - PM Edition

I adore Marvin the Martian.
He gets so angry and frustrated at everything!
And it never really works out well for him!



















So, I have just been pondering the fact that I had such
a crappy day the other day and then it came to me!

The Good days
are followed by not so good days
are followed by pretty good days
are followed by awesome days
are followed by crappy days
are followed by excellent days

When you have one of those crappy days
just breath deeply
just think it through

and more that anything

remember to remember all of it
every detail,
every moment
everything of everything

remember it with
distance
clarity
determination

Then, after you think it though,
you remember the reason that you do not
have so many crappy days anymore!

Sunday July 20th

Well, I am getting ready to depart for Utah. I am really looking forward to a few days of relaxation and theatre.

The rains last night were HUGE. My pool is close to overflowing. The clouds that are gathering over the horizon are huge, fluffy; and as full of water as the ones from last nights storm. It is only a matter of time before the rains come again this evening.

I have spent a good portion of the afternoon figuring out how to do a better job of organizing all of the images for my website. After talking to the guy how helped set up my new site and speaking in a language that I really do not understand, I think I actually understand what to do, how to do it and still not “F” anything up.

Well it is time to get back to work on all of the B&B submissions for next year. Those are coming along quite nicely and I think that I have some really nice idea for a 2 or 3 day workshop and several new classes!!!

I am thinking of stopping at the Grand Canyon on the way back from Cedar City. I have only flown over the canyon and would relish the opportunity to see the view. I had reservations to camp at Phantom Ranch right after B&B this year, but those went to way of the Dodo and I would really love the chance to even stand on the rim. I do want to camp at the ranch next summer and am hopeful that I will get to go this next time around.














Grand Canyon at the South Rim.

It had been a very real dream of mine to spend a week to 10 days on the floor of the canyon and just hike the trails, swim in the river and relax. There is no Internet, no TV, nothing that can interrupt the grandeur and solitude of the canyon.











Phantom Ranch!

Saturday July 19th

Again my wish is granted for an evening monsoon to arrive. I missed an entire weeks worth of rain while I was away and this evening I was granted a beautiful rain that made the world smell new again. The sound of the rain on the street, pouring down on the sidewalks and beating the adobe bricks of my back courtyard it a sound that has no equal.
The crack of the thunder vibrates the house and the flash of the lightening illuminates the night sky.
It is so beautiful.

I had a productive day that included cleaning and writing and working, prepping kits for Philly, cutting wire and figuring out which tools would need to be sent along. I am traveling to my mother’s house for her birthday on the 17th of August and then driving to Philly from Dayton. That means I can prep all of tools and make sure that there are no problems before I show up to teach. I have really come to rely on the fact that I get my orders in early so I can make sure that I do not screw it up. I cannot abide having to prep kits on site. If I make an error there, I have no chance to fix it. I love opening up a bag and having ALL of the kits, cut, sorted, assembled, and labeled. I am that much of a GEEK!












Othello Production Shot! It looks so excellent!!!

I leave tomorrow evening for 3 days of theatre at the Utah Shakespeare Festival. We are attending 4 shows in 3 days and are anticipating a wonderful time with great entertainments. Can you believe it? I am taking 4 days away from working here! I will be working a few hours a day there but I am taking a great portion of the time to enjoy wonderful company and good thearte.

The best news that I have had this week is that Cris, Gail and Stacey are to come to play for 4 whole days in August. Cris and Gail are at the PMC conference and say that the new Bronze PMC is awesome. I am pleased to say that I get to play with some very soon. Gail has first dibs on the outdoor tub and I am sure that we shall have a laughter filled few days. It will be so nice to have a collaborative and inventive group around to share ideas and work on some projects together, share good food and good drink and just generally enjoy each others company as we do so well. I could not be happier that these 3 are coming to stay. I have missed them a great deal since our days together at B&B in June.

Friday July 18th.

As I drove through California I saw fields upon fields of Sun Flowers. All of the heads facing the sun. Don't you think that these are just being rather rude?











My nephew Matt called this evening to we could talk about the newest Beck CD. He is a cool dude, a musician, a college student and a very amazing human being. That was the nicest part of my day today. My niece and 2 nephews are 3 of the coolest people that I know. Not only are they just genuinely nice but also each is totally smooth in some really fantastic way. The oldest Matt is this Beck looking, musician, my niece Sam is a total athlete, and the youngest Nick is an excellent mixture of both.

I worked like a woman possessed today, I got a great deal done but the list just does not seem to get any smaller. Plane reservations made, car reservations made, orders placed, bills paid, contracts signed and emailed off. It was a day of tasks that held no real joy for me.

I had the gas company install a digital reader that they can scan from the street for my monthly readings. While I was talking to this man I asked if I had to have the pilot light for my furnace lit during the 9 months of the year that I do not use it. He said that he could put it “out” but the company would not come to relight it. I am wasting $100.00 a year in Natural gas, times that by the thousands of customers in Tucson alone and I am furious about the waist of our natural resources. I have to climb up on my roof and figure out how to do it myself. I refuse to participate in this waste any longer.

I have been angry, bitter, frustrated, and basically today just SUCKED.

When you know that a series of events should unfold in a certain way and when those events do not, it is the cruelest revelation of all. You work, dream, strive towards a singular goal and then have the possibility of that goal stripped away with no recourse creates the deepest wound that may never truly heal. No matter how many months or years may pass there are those wounds that will never heal.

I worked like non-stop today from 7am till 7:30pm and it was one frustrating task after another. I used to not mind those tasks; I was working unfailingly for a singular goal and I kept that goal in the forefront of my mind but that goal no longer exists. I find my tasks have lost a great deal of their luster and I struggle at times to find some goal that I desire to attain.

I feel as if I am surrounded in a thick wrap of dense material that deadens my senses and hazes my vision. I desire to feel and at the same time not to feel. I desire to once again care about something so desperately that I once again have a clear goal in my sites. To find that something that is actually worthy of my attentions and my drive. I ask that the chasm I am looking at will offer a bridge to the other side.

I hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

July 17th - By the way!

There are many things that make me really happy each day, here are 2 of my favorites!!!

1. I go to the Cheezburger Site to see really funny cat pictures with "capshuns"

Here is one from today that made me actually laugh out loud!





















2. I found a Site dedicated to the pursuit of the perfect bottle of Root Beer.

Praise be!








••••Find the things that make you smile each day, even when things really SUCK and you know that you can get through anything as long as you can still laugh and smile!••••

Thursday July 17th

It has been a very busy 2 days. I am not counting Tuesday at all; I pretty much slept that day away in the comfort of my own bed and stretched out on the couch while I watched the All Star Game.

Wednesday was a busy one right out of the starting block. I had a meeting with my handy-guy Monte, he is on board to finally fix the door to my garage. Fixing this is a rather interesting project that requires thinking outside of the box and coming up with some creative solutions. I think that we have come up with some great ideas to solve my problems that will add a bit of some "real nice" to my house.

After our meeting I had to go return the Mini-Van to the rental place and then I rushed to meet Monte at Gersons to pick out a door. (Gersons is the world’s most excellent reclamation yard!) We found a door, a beautiful 12-panel door in almost perfect condition. Construction starts as soon as all of the materials are acquired.

The afternoon was spent getting all of my bills and deposits taken care of and sorted out. Then my evening was spent unpacking all of the boxes and doing inventory for Philly. I had not checked my class counts and when I checked, Friday & Saturday are filled and Sunday only has 8 spots left. I could not have been happier. It is good to know that I will be kept really busy for my time in PA.

This morning was spent with the most wonderful Carlysle; I took a 2-hour break from my day and let her work out off of the soreness and pain from the car accident. To say that she is a miracle worker is an understatement, she preformed her magic and I feel so much better. Then I got ALL of the orders that came in while I was away and a few that had been waiting for back orders of tools to arrive. I am 90% caught up. Praise Be!

I just came in from a dusk swim with my bats. I do not think I told you; I have 3 bats this year not just 2. I do not think that they were as pleased to see me this evening, as I was to see them. I have been gone so much and have not taken as many dusk swims as I did last year. I’ll just have to get them used to me all over again. Well the pool was perfect, the evening air was a “cool” 100º, the water was just warm enough to compliment the night air and the sunset was very orange. Those factors along with my bats and my coffee and I was in a perfect spot this evening!

Tacoma was interesting this year, I had not taught for the Festival for a few years and it was nice to be teaching to some old students as well as a great number of new ones. My classes were fun and full and I look forward to going back next year. It was interesting to teach and to have a booth. I have a few ideas that will make it go smoother next year for sure, but the fact that I did plan it out well made all of the difference in the world.

There were a great many differences this year, some very intriguing, some made me very sad and several made me more aware of the world that came from and the world I exist in now. One can gather information in so many unusual ways, the off hand comment or an overheard bar conversation. All you have to do is listen and you can learn a great deal about a wide variety of subject matters. I have become more and more aware of these nuances and my usual way of observing and listening has gleaned much knowledge and understanding of life’s intricacies. The interesting part of it is that all I do is file it all away and ponder it and see how it all fits together. I have always loved a conundrum and over this past year I have learned a great deal about human nature and how the truth about people and human nature can come out in the most amazing ways.

There are wonderful people in this world and I am lucky enough to call a number of them friend! I have tried to never use that word much; I find that it is as overused as the words love and hate are. I “love” that or I “hate” this, so many words and phrases are used without fully acknowledging the ramifications of their meanings or their intentions. I just wish that people would take as much care with words as they do with choosing which shirt to put on in the morning. I believe that a great many people act without full understanding that they will be taken at their word and that they speak without hearing how the person listening will actually hear those words.

Words are a source of amazing power and can be dangerous if not acknowledged as such. The casual speaker, one who speaks without thinking, is the most dangerous of all. I have said it before, how we speak and how we are heard, is one of the truest measures of our humanity! If we speak and do not listen to our words and how we sound, then we have no business speaking at all.

Tuesday July 15th

Gail’s birthday dinner was excellent indeed. We had 2 entirely succulent oyster samplers, and a decedent crab dip with our entrées. I love the easy conversation and the joy of Gail and Michelle’s laughter. What a pleasure to travel, room and continue to get to know these 2 amazing women with each passing year. We all had the added pleasure of having a connecting room, I roomed with the most excellent Susan Nestor and it was fun to have the rooms connected. I would have coffee each morning with Gail and Meesh and then go off to work while Susan slept like a little angel all tucked into her down comforter.

I made a huge mistake Sunday night of not taking my usual Tylenol PM’s to sleep when I travel and was up at 3:45am. Try as I might, I could not really get back to sleep, so I quietly packed up my clothes and electronics so I could get an early-ish departure. I had not planned on leaving so early, but I sort of thought that it might be a good idea to not drive so terribly late into the night. I got underway by 8am after tracking down a bank to deposit all of my checks and then I made the essential pit stop at the Starbucks for on the go JAVA.

The day was beautiful, all of the different greens of the different trees, the grasses and exploding colors of the flowering plants was a great way to start the day. Mt. Rainier looked as magnificent as always in all of its grandeur. On I drove and as I have so come to enjoy, everyone takes turns keeping me company for a short while, all of them telling me adamantly that I DRIVE SAFE!

I made it home by 10:15am. I drove 1000 miles from Tacoma WA to Lebec CA (the top of the mountain range that separates the central valley and the LA basin.) I left Tacoma at 8am and got to Lebec at 11pm and man was I tired! There is a really nice rest stop there where I slept really hard for 3 hours and then woke to someone trying to figure out how to get their keys out of their locked car. It is easy to forget those keys when you are driving at 2am. Well, at that I started to drive again and was pleased with the how quickly the night gave way to morning.














I got to watch the sun rise over the mountains in AZ and as the miles ebbed away, I felt the warmth start to creep back into my bones and I wanted to drive faster. I had to curb that desire and just accept my fate and know that my drive would end soon.

I am tired beyond belief and am rather sore.
I am just looking forward to the All Star game this evening.

I have a small little break to go see some great theatre the beginning of next week in Utah. I am really looking forward to that. Then I get to start it all over for the Philly Bead Fest in August.

Well, I am taking the rest of the day off, watch a ball game, ponder all of the happenings from the week in Washington and just try to breath in the good desert air.

I am not a TV watcher that follows series, except one! I am a huge Saving Grace fan and I have a huge crush on Holly Hunter. I missed the season opener last night. I have a standing date with a friend and man was she pissed that I was not home. I’ll get to watch it on Thursday and I heard from her that it was awesome!!!!!
Everlast sings the theme song!

Sunday July 13th.

Well it is Sunday, I can not believe that this show is over in 1 hour. God this week has flown! It has been a very busy few days. The task of exhibiting for an entire day and then teaching a 3-hour class at night has been tiring. I have had a great deal of fun seeing everyone but have not had the usual evenings of dinners out with everyone. I do miss those dinners but with the way things are these days, every dollar earned is cherished. I am tired and the soreness is lessening as each day passes. I will need to really rest my right wrist for a few days. As I was teaching my first two classes the muscles in my hand and wrist were twitching terribly. Those symptoms have lessened a great deal over the last 24 hours and I am very grateful for that.

I have to say that I never really recovered from the drive up, even with the extra Wednesday evening and Thursday morning. I am tired, but looking forward to getting back home!!!!! I have seen that Tucson has gotten so much rain this week. I got several text images of the rivers and the washes full and running hard. I look forward to seeing the change in the desert and mountains as the earth drinks its fill and all of the foliage starts to bloom again.

I long to curl up with my girls and wake again in my room and take a swim. I have a lot of tasks to accomplish in the next several weeks before I have to be In Philadelphia for the next round of classes. I am really looking forward to that show this year. As well as teaching 3 one day sessions of Fine Silver, I will have all of my kits and books out in a booth with Susan Nestor’s excellent work.

I am looking forward to having dinner with Gail and Meesh this evening to celebrate Gail’s birthday. We are going to a restaurant that we went to last year and had a wonderful meal. As always, we must have oysters!!!!! Happy B-day Miss Gail!!!!!!

Here is the most excellent “Do Not Disturb” sign at our hotel! Some one has a really good sense of humor!

Thursday July 11th PM Edition

I really slept in today, praise be!!!! I was out like a light by 9:30, I woke up at 4am for about 30 minutes and went back to sleep till 8:30am. I got almost 10 hours of sleep. My body needed the rest so much. It is now just after 11 and I have had another long day but a really good day!!!

Gail, Meesh and I went to the farmers market that happens each Thursday just 2 blocks away from the hotel. We got beautiful flowers for the room and fresh fruits and breads to snack on and had a lovely morning till we had to do load in at noon.

As always, set up was a cluster but all in all went really well.

Meet the teacher’s was fun and it was nice to see so many familiar faces. I had to leave early to go set up for class so I missed out on all of the door prizes.

I taught Woven Chain/Viking Knit tonight and class was a blast. We laughed and joked and generally a great deal of hilarity was experienced by all.

It was a really nice day! Looking forward to tomorrow.

Thursday July 10th.

Just a quick morning post.
Off to the races of install and then teaching....can not wait to see everyone today!

Click here for you own Tarot Reading!

The Root - Four of Swords: Truce
The encouraging aspects of your situation at the moment have been brought about by having reached a more peaceful time in the past after a period of trials and tribulations. This would have given you the opportunity to collect your thoughts and formulate a plan of action. More difficult aspects are likely to be the result of depression, illness or conflict.
You may have been too dogmatic or conventional



The Covering - IV The Emperor
You have the strength and will to overcome obstacles and opposition at the moment. The Emperor can indicate a sense of power and ambition in yourself, or dealings with official bodies and people in authority. Reason rather than emotion should be your guide at this time, but be careful not to be heartless.




The Future - Six of Cups: Pleasure
The coming time is one of harmony, well-being and satisfaction. Relationships and friendships in particular have every chance of entering a rosy period. This card has a connotation of looking back to the past to build for the future. It can suggest that some person or place from the past will be able to help you find happiness in the future, or that you will need to look to how you dealt with matters previously to find the best way forward. Above all, make sure that you appreciate and make the most of the good things you have.

Wednesday July 9th

I had a lovely drive with Michele today and we made great time to Tacoma. What a delight to get caught up and just speak in person. We made such good time that we had extra time on our hands to sit down to an excellent breakfast at the Hob Nob restaurant. After that we went to the airport to grab Gail. We had to wait in the cell phone parking lot and got to watch a backhoe tear up and fold up a guardrail. Meesh and I were both pleased to see heavy construction equipment in use. It really is a real thrill that I will never tire of.

After we checked in to the room we all had some relaxing catch up time and I commented on how amazing it was that I am now in Tacoma and just a few hours ago I wasn’t here. There is an amazing thing that happens in our world, we have to travel so much and in that we are all creatures of habit. We hook up with our familiars, catch up and have our routines of favorite restaurants and activities that make each city feel as if it is a real part of our daily world and not just 3 to 5 days out of each year.

It is a wonderful thing to have these friends so close and to know that the time we spend together is meaningful to each of us in our own ways. Each of us brings a special personality to the mix and a unique sense of humor and wonder to the world.

Tomorrow is setup at noon, meet the teachers at 5pm and then I teach Viking Knit from 7pm to 10 pm. I get to sleep in and I am going to take full advantage of that.

Tacoma is beautiful and they are really spiffing up the downtown nicely.
This is the view from out hotel room. It looses just a little something shooting the image from behind a glass window!















I am still very sore and am looking forward to a very restful nights sleep!
Again, thanks for all of the concerned emails.
As Jill said, I figured that since you were typing you must be OK!!!

Well my incident cost me a four hours of drive time yesterday that I had to make up today. It was a smart thing for me to get that last 100 miles in last night. Having to drive through LA morning traffic was not a real option for me. So, I got to drive 800 miles, Buttonwillow, CA (such a great name!!!) to Salem, OR.

Gail got the smarts this morning and realized that I am driving through Salem OR and could pick UP Michele as we could drive together. DUH! So I am pleased that I will have a companion for the rest of the drive to Tacoma.

All of the central valley of CA is brown with the smoke of the fires. It came from the west over the hills from Big Sur and came south from Redding filled the valley and blocked out the sun in a brown haze. It looks like the pollution that hangs over LA in the high heat of the summer. As I got to Redding you could see the 10 to 12 smoke plums from all of the separate fires. Just north of the city is this huge field that was the staging area for all of the helicopters and water tankers to fight the blazes.

As always, I am still in bewildered awe of the transformation that happens as you drive from the desert of Arizona to the pine forests of Oregon. The shift happens so slowly that you forget to notice and then suddenly, there are running rivers and green grass. It is one of the reasons that I love to drive everywhere. To witness the subtle shift in terrain and to see the farms and the wildlife that has moved and adjusted to presence of man.

I do have to say that now is my favorite time to drive the I-5. It is tomato-harvesting time. All of the produce is loaded into these open top trucks that have a base of water so the bottom layer does not get crushed. As the trucks go over bumps on the highway dozens of the tomatoes fly out of the hoppers and land all over the highway. It has made me laugh every time since the first time I saw it happen.

I want to thank everyone for the concerned emails and phone calls. I am sore as I can say I have ever been. I got a wrap for my wrist that helped a great deal and my right shoulder and sternum are very stiff from the locking up of the seatbelt. Today was hard and I am glad that it is over. I think that the only things that do not hurt are my eyebrows. I am gonna take some Aleve and Tyleno PM's and go to sleep.

Tuesday July 8th.

OUCH!
Sore and grateful!
Very Grateful Indeed!
What ever power that was watching over the I-5 last night, Thank You!

I now remember LA traffic perfectly!
That is I why I drive AROUND Los Angeles traffic at all costs.

Monday Night/Tuesday Morning July 8th

My day started out beautifully, I could not have asked for better weather and as I left Tucson I got to drive along side the Barnum & Bailey train. How cool is that?
I made great time all the way to LA and had a wonderful Thai diner with my most excellent friend Carol. My plan after that was to drive for another 4 or 5 hours and stop fr the night.












Well, I got back on the road around 8:30 and within 20 minutes of driving I totaled the mini van I was driving.

I was driving north on I-5, near Burbank, traveling about 55mph in heavy LA commuter traffic. I switched from lane 4 to lane 3 and was watching the truck that was about 45 to 50 yards ahead of me. He slammed on his breaks and I slammed on mine. The brakes in the mini-van basically failed. In the 40 yards I was breaking I could barely slow the car down and I rear-ended this poor dude. Luckily no one was hurt and I crunched the front end of the mini-van underneath his bumper. It looked like the “ACME accordion car” from the old Road Runner cartoons. Our bumpers were stuck together in the middle of the highway and we could not move. A CHP officer was actually jumping on the hood of the mini-van trying to get it to bounce enough to get them un-stuck. My air bag did not go off. (I am rather befuddled by that fact!) The bruises that are developing from the seat belt are really very lovely. My collarbone and sternum are bruising up nicely as well. Both of my wrists are extremely sore from being jammed into steering wheel while trying to stop the car.

I F-ing hurt like hell right now and getting more sore as the minutes pass. My neck and lower back are getting very achy. I am going take what drugs I have and hope to get some sleep.

So, right now, I am going to stop complaining and be ever so very grateful that no one was injured seriously. The woman at the Hertz counter at the Bob Hope Airport in Burbank was so sweet and kept the counter open for me for 20 minutes to make sure that I got a new rental and got back on the road. I drove for about another 100 miles before I realized that I truly needed to stop for the night.

I am counting my blessings and counting the 20 plus years since my last car accident. I am much better off this time!

Monday July 7th

This time I am driving a KIA minivan. Still lookin’ mighty fine. I am on my way in about an hour. I have coffee brewing and everything is all packed up and ready to go.

I had a wonderful evening after I posted last night. I got my wish and a beautiful monsoon hit. I got a glass of wine played the Brandenburg Concertos and sat under my pavilion till 3:30am watching the lightening, listening to the thunder and seeing my pool fill to almost overflowing. Very, very excellent!!!! The drawback this morning is that there is SO MUCH HUMIDITY in the air I am sweating like a sieve.

As usual, I will drive till I tire today and as long as I get to Tacoma by Wednesday at 11am I will be fine.

I’ll post as I drive to give updates. I love a road trip!!! Hey, did you know that a great many rest stops now have wireless Internet access? I am gonna try it out this trip, see what comes of it all.

Contemplation and evaluation are the themes for this trip. The silence and solitude of a road trip without the distractions that come with being so close to so much makes these tasks somewhat easier. A great deal much has been illuminated over these months. So much more is to come I feel and at times it is frightening to see your life unfold. I have been pealing away layers upon layers of so much bullshit and the view is very interesting indeed.


Yup!

Sunday July 6th

Another beautiful day with loads more done! I am ready for yet another road trip. All I have left to do is pack clothes, pick up the mini-van in the morning and load up all of the office boxes and I will hit the road. I actually have a kind of schedule that I need to follow this time around. I need to get into Tacoma on Wednesday at 11am to pick up Meesh at the train station and then go get Gail at the airport.

Once again, I look forward to the simple task of setting out on a course and keeping my eyes on a goal that is attainable.

I crave another storm right now! I want to hear the clap of thunder and the flash of lightening that can fill the sky and illuminate you to the depth of your soul and the cool of the rain on my skin. With each rain I stand outside and let the water drench me. It is such a wonderful feeling to have the water running down your arms and down your back, cooling you off.

Today I watched the tennis match to end all tennis matches. Federer vs. Nedal will go down as an instant classic. The match lasted 5 sets, almost 5 hours of play, 2 rain delays the threat of darkness and Nedal ended the 5 year reign of champion Federer. It was an epic match with few errors and both men playing the best tennis of their careers. They each brought out the best in the other. The crusty John McEnroe even said it was the most amazing match that he had ever had the privilege of watching. After that I got to watch a good part of “The Big Unit” Randy Johnson’s long over due win for the D-Backs. Got to do all of that while cleaning, finishing packing and generally getting things ready to go!

Loss is a fascinating state of being and the one who survivors that loss has to learn to breathe deeply and with joy all over again. Follow the light that shines before you, climb the steps and know that all journeys have a completion.

I have recently come to understand that it is the small things. It is the small memories that creep in along the edges of your consciousness. Those small and simple memories are the ones that catch you off guard, unaware and leave you in stunned silence.

The last glance
The last smile
The last phone call
The last shared dinner
The last time the words “I love you” were spoken
The last close embrace
The last of many promises
The last of the unfulfilled plans

Loss comes in many forms. Acknowledge, honor and mourn the loss it deserves the nod of passing.
These memories leave you seeing everything with perfect clarity, as if you were standing in the blazing sun with no respite and your sunglasses are locked in the cars glove compartment.