Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tuesday November 11th

Sorry for the missing day or 2 here. Sunday was the exhausting last day of the show and Monday evening I did not have Internet access so I was relegated to the stone age for a day. My computer would not get onto my friend Carol's wireless network.

Well, one more show under my belt and I am back home and I have no explanation as to why this one knocked me on my ass. On Sunday night after the show, I accomplished the most efficient breakdown and pack-up EVER in the history of shows. I then helped Gail get her bags up to our room, we had an early and very quiet dinner and we were both asleep really rather early. Gail needed to be at the airport by 7:30 and we got up to have coffee, enjoy our last morning view from our room and were so organized it was ridiculous.

Now here is the strange part, as all of you know I can drive up to 20 hours at a shot no problem and all I had to do on Monday morning was to get my butt to LA, a mere 6 hour drive but I was SO tired after 3 hours of driving that I had to take a nap at a rest stop for 30 minutes or face falling asleep behind the wheel of the car. I mean this was ridiculous.

I guess that this year has really taken its toll on me. I see the end of the year fast approaching and a time when I actually only have one class left to teach in the beginning of December at my Tucson Studio. I am going to add a Baltimore show with Gail before the end of January but nothing before that. I now have the time to get the DVD finished, a few house projects finished, my bedroom painted and I see the slowdown ahead of me and maybe my body is telling me that I am really F-ing TIRED. It is true, not only have I worked hard this year it has been an emotionally challenging year.

As much as the BABE show is Old Home Weekend, it is also a very emotional show for me in SO many ways. It represents one of the happiest moments in my life and one of the saddest moments in my life all rolled up into one show, one venue and one time of the year. It is amazing how we associate things together, how we make it a good thing or a not so good thing just by giving it that power. I have loved coming to the BABE show for a very long time and for the last several years it has been associated with a very wonderful aspect of my world, since that is no longer the case I had to go and reclaim the show in another way. I accomplished the task and I guess that it took more out of me than I thought that it would. I know that I had not really considered portions of this before arriving in Oakland, but once there, it is very difficult not to see all that has transpired and all of the history that is tied up in a place.

I not only accomplished that task but I got the opportunity to start the major undertaking of repairing a path that has been badly damaged and I am grateful for that opportunity and it will not go to waste.

I lived in the Bay Area of over 17 years, I love CA and always will. Gail lives in MA and LOVES this part of CA, and we both love the view from the Marriott that over looks the Port of Oakland and all of the SF Skyline, both the Bay and Golden Gate bridges, Alcatraz, the hills of Marin…the view is just outstanding and we both just love being in the Bay this time of the year. But, just like I had to reclaim, Bead & Button and the Bead Fest Shows I had to reclaim this last show of the year as mine and look at it with a different pair of eyes.

The year is coming to a close for me in this respect; this has been a year of challenges and it is one that I would not have gotten through as well as I did if it were not for friends and family. I guess that there is a reason that Thanksgiving is coming up in a few weeks. It is that time for me again, I am no longer waiting for the promised invitation that was never going to be offered not matter what was said. I have learned a great deal about myself, my capabilities, my desires and most importantly I have seen the things that I feel that I actually deserve in life.

2008 is a year to look back on and say that there were a great many lessons learned and a great many obstacles overcome. There has been an even greater appreciation gleaned for my work, my friends and a greater understanding of my own self. This has been an incredible year on many levels, one that I guess that I would not want to do over but it is one that I know I had to live through. I am looking forward to 2009. It is looking promising on many levels professionally.

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