Tuesday March 11th.

I am experiencing more days and evenings of introspection and realization lately. Why are so many things that at one moment seemed simple and clear are now not anywhere close too simple or clear?

There are things to be grateful for, our friends, the real ones; the ones that would do anything for us are so rare, so special and so amazing. You know when they are the real thing at that first test. It kind of sucks that it comes down to a test, but there is the truth of it, it always comes down to a test. You will know for sure about a person when that test of integrity, honor and commitment looks you right in the eye and that person does not flinch or shy away. These are not easy tests; they show true character, and the real person underneath. That is when you know what metal an individual is made of.

The real, true and honest friend/lover/partner will rise to that test when that late night call has you getting up, staying up and comforting pain, when that person will let you cry, let you rage, let you be you and not shy away from seeing you in distress.

It is not easy to look these moments in the eye, face another’s pain, because more often than not these moments will rekindle their memories as well. To let a person who is in distress that close to where your own inner pain can rise to the surface takes tremendous courage. But it is in these rare beautiful and amazing moments that we see the real person. If at the test the friend/lover/partner turns you away or turns away from you, make excuses, or if they say that they have no room for your pain, then you know.

Again, be brave, be bold, and have no fear. The reward far outweighs the tragic consequences that come if you do nothing or turn away.

Chapter 23

Express yourself completely,
then keep quite.
Be like the forces of nature:
when it blows, there will be only wind;
when it rains, there will only be rain;
when the clouds pass, the sun shines through.

If you open yourself to the Tao,
you are at one wit the Tao
and you can embody it completely.
If you open yourself to insight,
you are the one with insight
and you can use it completely.
If you open yourself to loss,
you are at one with loss
and you can accept it completely.

Open yourself to the Tao,
then trust your natural responses;
and everything will fall into place.