Sunday June 29th

I am waiting and hoping for the next Monsoon to hit this evening. The smell of the rain is very close. I have spent my weekend really concentrating on the kits and handouts for Puget Sound. As of this evening I am done making kits and printing handouts. All I have to do is pack up tools and teaching supplies and I am ready to hit the road. I leave a week from Monday.

I have been writing and writing and writing. So much so that I have been ignoring all of the emails from friends that I have been receiving. So sorry Jean, I will try to never let it happen again!

Choices and decisions concerning our lives are always before us. How we choose to live a life and how we choose to honor that life, stand up for that life is one of the greatest tests that we face as human beings. For as complex and as difficult of a person that can be, I am actually a very simple soul. I have simple requirements as to what will make me happy and fulfilled for an entire lifetime. I desire to be openly honored, acknowledged, cherished, included and occasional be chosen as a priority, in essence to be placed at the head of the line. Those times are so rare but when they do happen they are so real and so necessary.

How we, as lovers or partners of any kind honor, cherish and treat those who are ours to honor and cherish is the truest litmus test of who we are. We succeed or fail as humans by that test. It really is that simple, if we cherish, honor, and truly care and give we succeed of not we need to keep taking that test till we get it right.

We are given tests of honor in our lives. How we face those tests and how we complete those tests is what lets us move onto the next plain of existence. I am always searching for the answers that seem to skirt the edge of my understanding. I crave that knowledge. I know that I see more than most when it comes to the truth in human nature. I consider myself a true observer. I am so very good at seeing things from a distance and feel that I have a unique understanding of the life that whirls around me. But god, I truly suck at it when it comes to the stuff that is right in front of my face. I guess that is my test in this lifetime.

I will continue to search for the answer to my sock drawer dilemma. Somehow, I kind of think that, I need another version of my sock drawer to look at on a daily basis in order to see the status of my life. Only looking in on the drawer after a nine-month absence seems to be a mistake. Solving this dilemma may be a key that can unlock a few doors for me. These are doors that need to be opened.